Petunia Town Girl

the wonderful. the forgettable.

  • i AM A CHILD OF THE ME GENERATION

    Apr 20th 2002

    By: acoffey

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    Is the Paxil working yet? Not sure, but I’m hopeful and I haven’t been hopeful in a long time.

    Had a wicked bad headache starting at two yesterday and ending, finally, late this morning. It must have been the premenstrual headache–as if I don’t have enough problems. I was kept up by it much of the night so today has been sluggish and mostly unproductive (except for a nice jaunt with Mark on an Austin walking trail).

    The hot weather is here. Gardening is only going to get harder. Oh, did I say gardening? I meant digging holes.

    Today is the seventh anniversary of Mark and I’s very first date (a Cedar Rapids show of Exotica and watching a group of deer run by in the local cemetary, not to mention fried cheese sticks at the Safari lounge and Mark introducing me to “Bell Bottom Blues”). Seven years is a long time. You think he would have learned to appreciate coffee by now.

    here’s what i’m gonna do:

    give up desserts
    eat more fruit and vegetables
    walk everyday
    write everyday
    learn masonry
    write an essay about my grandparents
    learn to play poker
    make some money
    Learn more about the way of the Shakers

    And I’ve got to get some birdhouses in the backyard.

    alison

  • I’m not quite all here

    Apr 18th 2002

    By: acoffey

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    I am now on Paxil (well, starting tomorrow). The little sample pack says “Your life is waiting!” Damn straight.

    I have finished my new flower bed. Of course, I presume the flowers won’t be appearing for awhile, so it is now just a big square patch of dirt, but it’s a finished big square patch of dirt.

    I’d like to take up masonry and pave a little courtyard in the backyard. The husband laughs and says, “you can’t take up masonry.” Well, it’s true, I do have a tendency to screw things up. Is masonry that hard? Is it scientific? If it is scientific forget it. Child, I don’t even understand fractions.

    Time to really get cracking on my wedding resource website. I’m trying to write blurbs, but they all come out like a big crappy cliche. I must find my inner blurb writer. Maybe I should do the P.T. Anderson thing and wake up at 6am and write with some of my unconscious still seeping through.

    Online job hunted for most of the morning. Boy, if you ever want to get depressed quick….

    Dream jobs:

    TV Drama staff writer
    screenwriter/sometime filmmaker/sometime actor
    just plain old screenwriter
    highly paid playwright
    young adult fiction writer
    editor of a very cool magazine like Organic Style
    TV Drama series producer

    What I think I’d be good at, but probably don’t look the part:

    Comedy improv troupe member
    Wedding Planner
    Advertising copy writer
    Photographer (I do some, yes, but all that equipment scares me, people scare me. I’m just not a mover and shaker, George).
    Fashion Designer (if I could draw or even sew, hee hee)
    Columnist

    Well, I think my fat, stinky cat Milo wants to go outside. He gets what he wants.

    ac

  • the sorrow and the self pity

    Apr 17th 2002

    By: acoffey

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    People disappoint me. Everything disappoints me. I disappoint myself. Have got to get rid of these expectiations.

    Here I am, at home again, avoiding homework, watching a terrible movie on HBO starring Dana Delaney as a photographer who ends up carrying Lucifer’s baby because of a promise her Catholic mother made years ago. “Evil is everywhere!” says the priest. Oh, here’s the sex scene. It must be impregnation time. Oh my dog it is trying to be arty.

    I meant to write oh my God, but instead wrote oh my dog. I think I’ll keep it.

    The gardening is going nowhere. The self promotion is going nowhere. Maybe I have painted the walls of my house the wrong color. Maybe I need to get the fung shui going. Oprah came in the mail today. She says to have more fun. Boy, it’s true, fun seems to have evaded by life. And I’m not counting the giggles an episode of Will and Grace can bring me. Should I go to Six Flags and ride roller coasters?

    This take home exam really bites. I’m in no mood for thinking, Mr. Teacher!

    The girl needs a latte.

    alison

  • Tuesday Blues

    Apr 16th 2002

    By: acoffey

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    This week is probably my last free week before returning to work and I had such plans! I was going to accomplish quite a bit. I know I mentioned all that other stuff I was working on, but you see, there is also the young adult novel, the short story, and my website, MyAustinWedding.com. Pictures to take, research to do, bits of information to shape into witty descriptions. Pish posh!

    Yesterday I was successful in partially digging up a new flower bed on the southside of the house. I moved the Texas Mountain Laurel bush there so it would have more sun. It is still just a runt of a bush. I will plant sunflowers, black-eyed susans and candytuft. I’m not one to be concerned about color coordinating. I just want some blooms.

    The farthest I got in my job hunting plans was to print out labels and put them on envelopes. Am I beating myself up? I shouldn’t do that.

    It always makes me feel more important and artsy to go sit in a coffee shop and jot down lists in my notebook. Yesterday it was CC’s. Today I walked the few blocks to The Flightpath coffeeshop. I had no idea it was such a happening place. I think I need a laptop. Maybe next Christmas.

    Today I was to finish my take home exam for my counseling theories class. But what I’ve done is answered the easiest part of the questions and saved the thinking parts for later. There must be some point in the next couple days, I figure, when I’ll become very eager to express my opinions about the uses of Existential Theory in counseling clients. “You are going to die! Get with it!” That reminds me, I can’t help but laugh laugh laugh whenever that Sprint Wireless commercial comes on that has the hypnotist who speaks overly loud (static problems from cellular, you see). “YOU ARE RELAXED IN YOUR QUIET PLACE!” Is that what he says? I need to yell that to myself sometimes. “YOU ARE IN YOUR QUIET PLACE!”

    So, I got up around 9. I woke about 8, but I lay for an hour thinking about how disturbing that show “The Bachelor” is, and how I can’t wait until next week’s episode. I had such plans for myself. First things first, go to ABC.com and read about “The Bachelor”. Then finish exam. Then write in blog. Then do great things with the day–garden, write, plan, find the perfect job. But instead–and I blame this on the fact that I couldn’t seem to log onto the internet–I spent an hour watching The Paula Poundstone story on E. The day was ruined. At least the latest Organic Style came in the mail and I could read all about taking an organic road trip across America.

    Oh, another problem. Feeling so stuck in Austin, Texas that I’ve become obsessed with the show “A Place Called Home” on HGTV. So many places to call home and I want to live in them all–Portland, Maine, Nantucket, Jackson, WY (okay, maybe not WY). The universe tells me to get closer to the ocean and larger trees.

    I just know I would feel better if I had some lilacs to smell.

    ABC

  • Hello Blog

    Apr 15th 2002

    By: acoffey

    No comments

    I’ll pretend it is Sunday night and I’ve just had the most fulfilling day of weed pulling and hole digging and muddy shoes and mosquito bites.

    Should I count the number of times the ugly feeling washes through me? When will that Effexor kick in? But I don’t seem to cry anymore. I wonder if you can call this numbness.

    I’m at home again. My third full week of no work. I’ve decided that this will be a week of great accomlishments. I will finish my television pilot, Stuart Salts. I will rework my romantic comedy, The Pet Diaires of Molly Daniels. I will submit my thriller, Ivy Girls, to the Austin screenwriting competition and the Nicholl. I will apply for at least three jobs that seem to be somewhat better than my current depressing job. And I will plant another garden by the side of the house–the sunny side.

    Tonight is the series finale of Once and Again, my favorite show. Another chapter of my life will close. What depressed teenagers will I relate to now?

    I turn 28 in exactly 23 days. I hope I get a coconut cake, at least.

    ac

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